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Memoirs of a Graduate

As the outgoing batch of ’92 comes together for the final performance, the clocks turn back, five and a half years into the past when seventy cheerful faces took on a task uphill. Some innocent and ignorant, some pretentious and arrogant; some meek softies, some self-assertive and bullish; some fair and some IAS (invisible after sunset); some beauties and beasts – a medley of varied physical proportions and mis-proportions; tall, dark and handsome; fat, bald and gruesome! But all with one dream… the same dream – the ambition to walk out of the portals of JIPMER as doctors.

Well it took some time to overcome the initial insecurities, homesickness and LOHA food hiccups and hiccdowns, with the unflinching support from our dear seniors in the form of… hush hushed…rrrragging. Thanks to them that the not so good-looking guys overnight became handsome muscular Adonis’, measuring the length of hostel corridor in how many ‘match-stick-lengths’ and some even in how many ‘match-stick-breadths’. Lord Shiva stood on one limb but never would he have tried sitting on a part of it, ‘The Femur’, an act which often attempted a desperate PR and at times even tried replacing the probably prolapsed piles of a not so suspecting victim, to the distinct sadistic pleasure of two horned sssssirs. Dancing to the tunes of the boss was heard of but dancing to the wails of our own classmate – who was actually asked to sing, was never even nightmared of. All said and done the joy, pleasure and ecstasy of proposing to – my fair lady sometimes even ladies, (sometimes provoked or probably forced by the seniors but most of the times unprovoked!) was unmatched. How I wish that I could have continued to be a baby (junior!) for that at least.

Besides this routine curriculum in our fatally suboptimal life sustained by the UEO’s (unidentified edible objects) from the LOHA mess, literally a mess, we also had an extracurricular program pertaining to academics. And that included the hour-long short naps in the Physio classes. The Anat lectures at times made me feel that I was mentally retarded for in spite of my innermost desire and utmost efforts I repeatedly failed to gather the ‘pearls of wisdom’ pouring out of our respectable teachers. Biochem perhaps chemically inconvenienced me as I found myself orally challenged and dumb struck whenever I was called for, to opine regarding anything pertaining to any and every topic under consideration.

The debut SPANDAN revealed the talent in almost all of us except a few lazy bones who were uniquely fortunate to, I shall say unpremeditatedly scoot and in spite be called – promisingly talented, it’s a different story that their talent never got tapped over the past five and a half years. Coming to those whose talents were indeed revealed, I shall talk about myself. I suddenly discovered that I was naturally gifted in ‘renovatingly architecturing the land’, i.e. mopping floors which in this case was a basketball court and which I thought was exclusively a job of the fairer sex or of the non-dominant recessive male sex post martially. My ideas that only professionally trained individuals could roll the ground (or roll on the ground) and highly sophisticated equipment alone could dry the wet football ground were shattered when… well, I was made to do that along with other less fortunate, no so lazy bones of my class. We take pride in telling that transport committee would routinely send SOS for ‘us’ for we were the only unpaid proficient labor force available anywhere in Pondicherry. It was an only guys team, another instances of gender bias, sex discrimination or was it sexual harassment of the other kind? To date all of what I know about interior designing, which is almost nothing, I had learnt in the reception team. To our relief SPANDAN came to an end and so did every baby junior’s drudgery.

Tragedy struck or did it?, as if by an awful retribution from the almighty above, we were thrown into the clinics. Proudly hanging the steth around our neck we felt ecstatic but most of the time was spent learning Tamil. ‘Asshollow!” was how it sounded when one of our superior country mates (i.e. north Indian friend) tried to open the mouth of a patient and landed opening his own, god only knows how many times.

The clocks stole the time beneath our nose as we graduated semester to semester and by luck, fate, chance or destiny we successfully cruised through our academics of course interspersed with inter-class-es and a couple of trips to Ooty and Kodai which led to some long-lasting, some not so long-lasting relationships. During those day-long infatuations and the puppy love tales on the backdrop of those scenic places, we shockingly discovered the Romoes’ and the not so really consenting Juliet’s in our class. Some did fructify, though not literally, but some of the cupid’s arrows missed the target and got out rightly rejected with blatant No’s. No harm, they had lots of arrows in their quiver and there were lots of fishes in the sea, the next day our rejected and dejected Romeo got up charged with rejuvenated hope and optimism to try his ill-luck elsewhere. With no gender bias, while speaking of rejection I must say that there was disappointment among the eves too for, some of the Adams refused to bite the apple.

As we were evolving in mother JIPMER’s womb and nature’s bountiful resources, sailing through the calm and benevolent marine outstretch in search of our ‘Capes of Good Hope’, tragedy struck in its most cruel form. We lost two of our classmates and very dear friends K and T under tragic circumstances. A reminder of his perhaps un-divulged plan for each individual. It was irreparable loss for the class and a personal tragedy to each one of us, for they were two nice lovable guys. No doubt, ‘good people die young’, “We miss you throughout Dr. K and Dr. T. May their soul’s rest in peace as we remember them once again.

Some how time flew carrying us about and we donned the executive seat. After intense tussle for ‘gaddi’, hard(-ly) fought verbal battles and unattmepted poll riggings we managed to give a stable leadership at the center – JSA and equally strong power in LOHA. Looking at the Lallus, Rabris and Kesris we feel proud today for the greatest decorum we maintained in being the organizing batch in spite of having the best of the nonchalant, nonconformists and the worst of obsessional perfectionists in the class. Grad day was pronounced a great success following which it took over sixty humans, six months (almost) and equally long consistent abstinence from academics plus illegitimate absence from classes to organize the six-day annual show – SPANDAN. Ridiculous perhaps but an achievement in itself, running around for sponsorships and money, not as beggars, but as JSA affiliated applicants for fund-raising services was no doubt a not so pleasant experience but we learnt a lot through this unpaid work of entrepreneurial nature as our convincing abilities and tremendous potential of lying (not to be taken otherwise – its telling lies) through this infra-nasal orifice came forth. The motto was hook or crook – beg, do not borrow and be indecisive about stealing! And it happened; for once all the hands and 119 legs (one of us fractured his leg) came together to make SPANDAN a roaring success. It indeed was, what with a roaring show of western music on the final day!

Come December and we found ourselves in a very vulnerable predicament of counting the number of pages of ‘Park’ to be read each second, a race against time, wind, light and everything capable of beating human mind. But to our misfortune we all did it. Misfortune because we were the honorable final years now, filled with consternation, we did come through. There was no turning back, having caught between Scylla and Charybdis. Charged with new vigor and utmost reverence for academics but oblivious to the impending doom we entered the new year. What a shocking metamorphosis it was, for the yesterday’s carefree punks, maachas and machees, Romeos and Juliets, suddenly became serious mugpots, sincere, regular, alert, oriented and conscious and above all cooperative. That one year of total abstinence, from every form of extra-academic social intercourse in spite of the tempting drop-dead beauties of the baby junior batch, which under the circumstances was an occupational hazard for every senior, did the trick. The so-called atheists suddenly became spiritual minded and ardent devotees of every form of God existing on earth, though just for the last three months. O’ God, to Allah became natural expressions of every emotion from joy to despair, success to failure, elation to depression. Prayers were heard and demands answered as we sailed through the final year unscathed though some were incompletely successful.

With celebrations and festivities, we joined internship highly spirited (literally). I would compulsorily call it ‘Compulsory house surgeonship’ retrospectively. It felt good attending OPD’s and going around in ward rounds as the joy of finally working as ‘live’ doctors stirred our souls but soon dawned upon us that, what our seniors had told us was true – it was a job of a glorified…. All said and some left undone, it was definitely a great time of practical learning, revealing to us, the intricacies involved in our profession, not only medical but also non-medical and extraprofessional, of course strictly ethical.

It will be an unpardonable mistake if I forget the most unforgettable and cherish-able part of internship – ‘The Ramanathapuram posting’, rather the honeymooning period of internship where we took full advantage of the symbiotic coexistence with the reptilian wildlife in erasing our acrimonious life patterns of the past five years, with the ‘spirited’ fun-filled moments and movements. Some old flames re-ignited and some new ones bloomed into long-lasting (time shall tell how long) liaison-ships as they rediscovered the indiscretionary pheromonous fragrances in each other in the sobriety of the spirited moments and movements again!

Soon it came to an end, five grad days, six interclasses and equal number of SPANDANs later; some fights, many catfights and a couple of couples later; few infatuations, some affairs and lots of true heart breaks later; one DVD, one KK, one Sollu…. the list goes on for seventy us all, and five and a half years later, here we are the tickers of the batch of ’92 parting ways leaving behind vivid impressions of varied emotions and multifarious pleasant images in each others hearts, un-erasable, unforgettable and eternal. For once, we feel lost, lonely, insecure, JIPMER sick (not homesick anymore) and unsure standing at the crossroads as a family disintegrates to allow each member to mould individual future and careers. But thanks to thee O’ Mother JIPMER for enabling us to walk out of thine holy shrine not only as knowledgeable doctors but also as mature, confident and self-assertive men and women.

With memories galore sweet and sour, cherish-able reminiscences, silently brushing across the windows of my thoughts sending in cold breeze of joy and happiness, it is a feeling of melancholy with which I put down the pen… for the last time… for thee O’ JIPMER.

‘Al-Wida’

(Outgoing graduate, February 1998)

Batch of ‘92

It is you!

Waves gushing their way to the shore,
Birds flying, chirping the lore.
Clouds sailing through the skies, in motion,
Trees swinging to the tunes of the ocean,
It is you, who keeps them in creation.

Early morning, the sun in the horizon,
Here you are, greatly beholden.
In my mind and soul O' dear one,
My poetic thoughts overflowing my pen.
They are only of yours, dear one.

Mid afternoon and the sun so bright,
My face washed off by a ray of light.
I rise up and think of that ray in delight,
None but you come to my sight.
It is you, that ray of light.

Calm sea and the starry night,
But sill reminisce of that ray of light,
None but you come to my side,
It is you, that ray of light.

Someone, somewhere, someday…

All of us are walking around with some kind of greeting card or a flowers bouquet, that we would like to give to someone…

Some personal expression of joy, creativity or aliveness, that we are hiding under out shirt,

Just a little expression of our liking for someone, our love for someone,

Someone, somewhere, someday…

I feel more satisfied and at peace with myself than I had in a long time,

I needed to learn to open my heart and give love, without requiring anything in return…

The Hippocratic Oath

HippocraticOath

Original Greek version:

ὄμνυμι Ἀπόλλωνα ἰητρὸν καὶ Ἀσκληπιὸν καὶ Ὑγείαν καὶ Πανάκειαν καὶ θεοὺς πάντας τε καὶπάσας, ἵστορας ποιεύμενος, ἐπιτελέα ποιήσειν κατὰ δύναμιν καὶ κρίσιν ἐμὴν ὅρκον τόνδε καὶσυγγραφὴν τήνδε:

ἡγήσεσθαι μὲν τὸν διδάξαντά με τὴν τέχνην ταύτην ἴσα γενέτῃσιν ἐμοῖς,καὶ βίου κοινώσεσθαι, καὶ χρεῶν χρηΐζοντι μετάδοσιν ποιήσεσθαι, καὶ γένος τὸ ἐξ αὐτοῦἀδελφοῖς ἴσον ἐπικρινεῖν ἄρρεσι, καὶ διδάξειν τὴν τέχνην ταύτην, ἢν χρηΐζωσι μανθάνειν,ἄνευ μισθοῦ καὶ συγγραφῆς, παραγγελίης τε καὶ ἀκροήσιος καὶ τῆς λοίπης ἁπάσης μαθήσιοςμετάδοσιν ποιήσεσθαι υἱοῖς τε ἐμοῖς καὶ τοῖς τοῦ ἐμὲ διδάξαντος, καὶ μαθητῇσισυγγεγραμμένοις τε καὶ ὡρκισμένοις νόμῳ ἰητρικῷ, ἄλλῳ δὲ οὐδενί.

διαιτήμασί τε χρήσομαιἐπ᾽ ὠφελείῃ καμνόντων κατὰ δύναμιν καὶ κρίσιν ἐμήν, ἐπὶ δηλήσει δὲ καὶ ἀδικίῃ εἴρξειν.

οὐδώσω δὲ οὐδὲ φάρμακον οὐδενὶ αἰτηθεὶς θανάσιμον, οὐδὲ ὑφηγήσομαι συμ βουλίηντοιήνδε: ὁμοίως δὲ οὐδὲ γυναικὶ πεσσὸν φθόριον δώσω.

ἁγνῶς δὲ καὶ ὁσίως διατηρήσω βίοντὸν ἐμὸν καὶ τέχνην τὴν ἐμήν.

οὐ τεμέω δὲ οὐδὲ μὴν λιθιῶντας, ἐκχωρήσω δὲ ἐργάτῃσιν ἀνδράσι πρήξιος τῆσδε.

ἐς οἰκίας δὲ ὁκόσας ἂν ἐσίω, ἐσελεύσομαι ἐπ᾽ ὠφελείῃκαμνόντων, ἐκτὸς ἐὼν πάσης ἀδικίης ἑκουσίης καὶ φθορίης, τῆς τε ἄλλης καὶ ἀφροδισίωνἔργων ἐπί τε γυναικείων σωμάτων καὶ ἀνδρῴων, ἐλευθέρων τε καὶ δούλων.

ἃ δ᾽ ἂν ἐνθεραπείῃ ἢ ἴδω ἢ ἀκούσω, ἢ καὶ ἄνευ θεραπείης κατὰ βίον ἀνθρώπων, ἃ μὴ χρή ποτεἐκλαλεῖσθαι ἔξω, σιγήσομαι, ἄρρητα ἡγεύμενος εἶναι τὰ τοιαῦτα.

ὅρκον μὲν οὖν μοι τόνδεἐπιτελέα ποιέοντι, καὶ μὴ συγχέοντι, εἴη ἐπαύρασθαι καὶ βίου καὶ τέχνης δοξαζομένῳ παρὰπᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις ἐς τὸν αἰεὶ χρόνον: παραβαίνοντι δὲ καὶ ἐπιορκέοντι, τἀναντία τούτων.[

In English:

I swear by Apollo the physician, and Aesculapius the surgeon, likewise Hygeia and Panacea, and call all the gods and goddesses to witness, that I will observe and keep this underwritten oath, to the utmost of my power and judgment.

I will reverence my master who taught me the art. Equally with my parents, will I allow him things necessary for his support, and will consider his sons as brothers. I will teach them my art without reward or agreement; and I will impart all my acquirement, instructions, and whatever I know, to my master’s children, as to my own; and likewise to all my pupils, who shall bind and tie themselves by a professional oath, but to none else.

With regard to healing the sick, I will devise and order for them the best diet, according to my judgment and means; and I will take care that they suffer no hurt or damage.

Nor shall any man’s entreaty prevail upon me to administer poison to anyone; neither will I counsel any man to do so. Moreover, I will give no sort of medicine to any pregnant woman, with a view to destroy the child.

Further, I will comport myself and use my knowledge in a godly manner.

I will not cut for the stone, but will commit that affair entirely to the surgeons.

Whatsoever house I may enter, my visit shall be for the convenience and advantage of the patient; and I will willingly refrain from doing any injury or wrong from falsehood, and (in an especial manner) from acts of an amorous nature, whatever may be the rank of those who it may be my duty to cure, whether mistress or servant, bond or free.

Whatever, in the course of my practice, I may see or hear (even when not invited), whatever I may happen to obtain knowledge of, if it be not proper to repeat it, I will keep sacred and secret within my own breast.

If I faithfully observe this oath, may I thrive and prosper in my fortune and profession, and live in the estimation of posterity; or on breach thereof, may the reverse be my fate!

Whispering pastels of Life!

What is life, but footprints on the sands of time,
Erased by waves of experience lashing on stony practicalities.
A medley of feelings, emotions and thoughts,
Of the soul, body and mind of human distraught.
A river with ups and downs,
Of overflowing cogitations, of ephemeral eternities.
O’ Dear, life is a sweet child of God,
In the heart of moments with whom is eternity!

What is life, but the music of cold breeze,
Passing through the hollowed bamboo sticks.
An orange tint of the full moon,
Rising through the dark clouds, across the horizon.
The hope of a candle flame,
Flickering through the dark spooky nights of rain.
O’ Dear, life is a new born child,
Eyes closed, weeping loud, Mothers love intense, still mild!

What is life, but the melodious tunes of waves,
Percussing hard against the tympanic rocks.
An early morning rainbow,
Across the weeping skies, in a resplendent show.
The hope of an oasis,
On the sands of a desert, on a sweltering noon.
O’ Dear, life is a child crying for a chocolate,
When the whole world is at her disposal!

What is life, but shades of black, white and grey,
Of the clouds sailing with silver lining lay.
The pastel hues of red, orange and yellow,
Of the sun setting in the horizon, so low.
The tale of birds flying east,
With the hard earned prey for their siblings feast.
O’ Dear, life is under an umbrella, a child laughing,
As dark clouds prevail and its raining hail!

What is life, but the snow sailing down
In motion, so slow as a solitary crown.
The swaying branches and wet leaves,
After a drenching downpour of heaven’s tears.
The sun swallowed the darkness around,
The star spangled skies and shimmering moonlight.
O’ Dear, life is a child gazing searchingly,
The vast expanse of nature, through the window, inquisitively!

What is life, but woeful litany,
Of violence, chaos and cacophony for some,
For others, a soothing symphony
Of those unremembered of acts of kindness and love.
It is overcoming those innumerable trials,
Of temptations and thoughts of inhuman calls.
O’ Dear, life is a child suckling at its mother’s breast,
To live, survive and be a Human at best!

this ones for you Dad

daddySaving ten cents off a sugar-cane juice for himself so that I could have a dollar worth of coke.
Deciding not to celebrate his birthday only to plan a lavish one for me.
Himself managing with the same pair of flip-flops for over five years but not hesitating to get me a new pair of shoes every year.
Stitch-patching his one trouser to ensure I have seven pairs, one-a-day of the week.
Thinking twice and not getting a wrist-watch for himself but unhesitatingly getting me sun-glasses for no reason.
That my friends are the memories of dad, my dad, I had a few months back.

I do not remember the nights when he stayed-up walking, coz I was sleeping on his warm shoulder rocking.
I do not remember how he sweated in the heat of an army mission when I was playing gully cricket in the army neighborhood.
I do not know how many tears he shed for his family at a time I was partying with my friends in the college hostel.
I do not know how he breathed his last, all alone in the hospital ICU, when I was holidaying with my family and friends.
BUT I do know that every one of those moments, he was praying, praying that ‘I’ may have a good life
That, my friends is a dad to every son and so was my dad to me…

Dressed in his crisp army greens, shoes shining like a mirror and the stars lined on his chest.
In sleeveless vest with a lungi around his waist, legs stretched and sleeping while watching tv
Un-tucked half sleeved white shirt on a pleated dark trouser with the slippers outside the Church.
Pulling himself out of the warm sleeping bag to make an early morning tea for me in Kashmir
These are the few images of my dad that I carry in the canvas of my memory.

Like my mom, he was not there always to receive me at home when I returned from school.
Like my mom, he was not there every time I wanted to share the centum I scored in my math.
Like my mom, he was not there every night that I might have needed my diaper to be changed.
Like my mom, he was not there for every vacation to play with me being out on a deployment.
But I know that the only reason I am what I am today is because of the struggles in what he did at times when he was not with me to celebrate.
That my friends are the celebrations I never had with my dad.

He would not kiss me ever on my wound with any promise to get it healed.
He would not hug me ever and show his love never.
He would not smile at me often enough to show his affection towards me.
Everything my mom would do every minute he would not do even once in a year.
Yet, I knew always that he loved me enough to be ready to stretch out his hands and die on the cross.
That my friends is a dads love for his child and so was my dads love for me.

Every time he kneeled down to pray, to his God, he had a small prayer for me on his lips
Every time he stood up to worship his God, he had a hymn for his son in his heart
Every time he closed his eyes remembering his God, he had a vision for me in his spirit
Every night he slept on his bed thanking his God, he had the largest gratitude to God, for his son
I now know my friends that each waking breath I inhale and each sleeping moment I live is a prayer each, that my Dad had offered to his God, for me.
And it is the very same prayer that he continues to offer in the heavens even today that gives me the body soul and spirit to stand here today…

I have not seen you Jesus, I have not seen you O’ Father of Abraham, I may not have been touched by the spirit that many Christians claim to have, but
From what I have read about you Jesus, from what I have heard about you O’ Father of Abraham, and from what I dream to experience when the holy spirit touches me…
I do know that, to manifest the love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit on earth, for weak spirited sons like me, God made Fathers, that you and I could call daddy.